Thursday, November 20, 2014

Broken Breakers

The breaker that controls the kitchen, living room and hallway lights broke yesterday. Luckily the refrigerator and kitchen plugs weren't on that same switch. It was nice lighting candles this morning when I brewed my 5 am cup of tea.  It reminded me of one of my favorite W.H. Auden's poems, which I will include here.  May we all show an affirming flame.




SEPTEMBER 1, 1939
by W.H. Auden

by Christopher Hitchens
I sit in one of the dives
On Fifty-second Street
Uncertain and afraid
As the clever hopes expire
Of a low dishonest decade: 
Waves of anger and fear 
Circulate over the bright
And darkened lands of the earth, 
Obsessing our private lives;
The unmentionable odour of death 
Offends the September night.

Accurate scholarship can
Unearth the whole offence
From Luther until now
That has driven a culture mad,
Find what occurred at Linz,
What huge imago made
A psychopathic god:
I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return.

Exiled Thucydides knew
All that a speech can say
About Democracy,
And what dictators do,
The elderly rubbish they talk
To an apathetic grave;
Analysed all in his book,
The enlightenment driven away,
The habit-forming pain,
Mismanagement and grief:
We must suffer them all again.

Into this neutral air
Where blind skyscrapers use 
Their full height to proclaim 
The strength of Collective Man, 
Each language pours its vain 
Competitive excuse:
But who can live for long
In an euphoric dream;
Out of the mirror they stare, 
Imperialism's face
And the international wrong.

Faces along the bar
Cling to their average day:
The lights must never go out,
The music must always play,
All the conventions conspire
To make this fort assume
The furniture of home;
Lest we should see where we are, 
Lost in a haunted wood,
Children afraid of the night
Who have never been happy or good.

The windiest militant trash 
Important Persons shout
Is not so crude as our wish: 
What mad Nijinsky wrote 
About Diaghilev
Is true of the normal heart; 
For the error bred in the bone 
Of each woman and each man 
Craves what it cannot have, 
Not universal love
But to be loved alone.

From the conservative dark
Into the ethical life
The dense commuters come,
Repeating their morning vow;
'I will be true to the wife,
I'll concentrate more on my work,'
And helpless governors wake
To resume their compulsory game: 
Who can release them now,
Who can reach the dead,
Who can speak for the dumb?

All I have is a voice
To undo the folded lie,
The romantic lie in the brain
Of the sensual man-in-the-street 
And the lie of Authority
Whose buildings grope the sky: 
There is no such thing as the State 
And no one exists alone;
Hunger allows no choice
To the citizen or the police;
We must love one another or die.

Defenseless under the night
Our world in stupor lies;
Yet, dotted everywhere,
Ironic points of light
Flash out wherever the Just
Exchange their messages:
May I, composed like them
Of Eros and of dust,
Beleaguered by the same
Negation and despair,

Show an affirming flame.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Pastors and sabbaticals

June 21, 2014

The curse of ingratitude

By Tom Ehrich
 
Pop quiz.

You are a pastor. You work six days a week, sometimes seven. You are on call 24/7.  Every detail of your life is out there for public consumption. People project their unresolved issues onto you, especially parental issues from their childhoods.

By church rules, you are entitled to a sabbatical, perhaps three months every seven years. But when you propose it, you hear what a pastor heard the other day:  "Sabbaticals are for academics who are making a significant contribution to their field, not for clergy who want an extended vacation and can't take working for a living."

What do you say?

In that one dismissive sentence, someone you trust tells you your work is insignificant, you want a benefit that you don't deserve, and you are lazy.

What do you do?

I read this comment on Facebook and was stunned. It reminded me of comments I heard during my parish ministry. It echoed comments other clergy report. I was stunned again at how casually cruel some people can be toward their pastors.

And saddened. Saddened for this pastor, who now must suck it up, look beyond the rudeness and be there for this arrogant twit when he needs care and doesn't hesitate to demand it. And saddened for the rude man, because he is receiving so much and doesn't realize it. How much else of God's love for him is he failing to see?

Churches die for many reasons, from bad leadership decisions to bad luck to poor execution of programs and ideas. One reason they die is ingratitude. Like the ingratitude of the man who thought himself so clever and analytical when he dismissed his pastor's request for a sabbatical.

Families die for the same reason. When spouses take each other for granted, or when one partner does all the giving, or when children take ceaselessly and feel entitled to more, even the sturdiest family crumbles.

Enterprises die when bosses demand but don't thank, when executives feel entitled to extravagant salaries, denounce underlings seeking better minimum wages, and lobby hard to deprive workers of the very benefits they take for granted.

Societies die for ingratitude, too. The social contract shreds when those who have much feel entitled to more, not grateful for what they have. Suffering and resentment breed when the wealthy give no thought to leaving the edges of the field unharvested for others to glean, and when they consider themselves superior human beings for the good luck of being born into privilege.

I am going to guess that the man who dissed his pastor is a moderately successful professional or businessman, who thinks his comfortable paycheck signifies wisdom. He lives within the common delusion that he earned it all, no matter how many contributed to his success, not to mention the role of luck.

This is the profile of ingratitude: someone who measures himself against others, takes satisfaction in having more, gives all the credit to himself, sees little of the web of interactions that underlie any success, lords it over the have-nots as inadequate persons, and feels entitled to be as rude and selfish as he likes.

What should the pastor say to him?

The safe response is nothing. The power imbalance is too great.

The Gospel response is something riskier: "When you have need, I am there for you. Now I have need, and I expect you to be there for me."
photo
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Thursday, June 12, 2014

Life, Love, Wonder, Joy, Awe, Connectedness


"You are anointed with this oil and sealed as Christ's own forever,"
 I said as I made the sign of the cross on her forehead with the oil for baptism...


she asked, "will you put some on my toes too?"


All you need to know about how to live can be found in a prayer in the Book of Common Prayer that is used when we baptize: - I adapted it a bit..


'Gracious and loving God, we thank you for life itself. 
Sustain me, O Lord, in your Holy Spirit. Give me
an inquiring and discerning heart, 

the courage to will and to persevere, 
a spirit to know and to love you, 
and the gift of joy and wonder in all your works.'


Inquiring - so we never lose our curiosity and desire to engage and learn.

Discerning- I could have used this a bit more when I was 17 & decided to hitch hike across the country by myself.  Bad idea. 
Very Bad. 

Courage to will & persevere- Some days it takes a lot of courage to just keep on going. I recently read a book that my 16 year old daughter brought home from school called Thirteen Reasons Why. It was written from the perspective of a girl who committed suicide and sent audio tapes to the people who contributed to her decision to take her life. I felt compelled to write a response called Thirteen Reasons Why Not - from the perspective of teen who attempted suicide a couple of times. She wrote letters to people who helped her stay the course, hang in there for just another day, another hour until she reclaimed the spark of life that was meant for her all along. 

A spirit to know and love God - we need to know it's not all about us, there is more, so much more....

The gift of joy and wonder - so that we never ever ever lose the capacity to stand in utter awe whether we are gazing at a new baby, a full moon, a small flower or a admiring the beauty of a horse running free, or.... add your own.



Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Faith and religion

I'm reading Daring Greatly by Brenee Brown. I have underlined notes on almost every page. A quote from her book that I read today is:

"When religious leaders leverage our fear and need for more certainty by extracting vulnerability from spirituality and turning faith into 'compliance and consequences,' rather than teaching and modeling how to wrestle with the unknown and how to embrace mystery the entire concept of faith is bankrupt on its own terms. Faith minus  vulnerability equals politics, or worse extremism. Spiritual connection and engagement is not built on compliance, it's the product of love, belonging, and vulnerability."

Amen to that!!

The photo was taken on Pentecost Sunday at Episcopal Cathedral in Topeka.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

New Years Eve 2013


My favorite things - 2013




A poem posted in the RevGal blog site this morning (by revkarla):

In this morning

on the evening of the last night

of this calendar year

I pray…

to savor the day, I mean, really live it.

I will reflect upon the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad, the poignant and the glorious

of the past twelve months….

and give God thanksgiving and praise for this gift of my life, the fulness thereof, 

And then I pray to move on,

and move into whatever is next

with courage, spirit, adventure and love…

for the moments we really have

are the ones we are living now. 

Amen. 

2013 was filled with so many blessings.  Three (former) members of Grace church were all ordained to the transitional diaconate on June 29th at Trinity Cathedral. On June 30th they were all at Grace church as ordained clergy.  Each one had a unique path to ordination with a variety of challenges along the way. Each felt a strong call to the priesthood fueled by a tug deep in their soul. Each one is amazing and talented and thoughtful and brilliant.



We went to New York in February and were able to have a rare family gathering with the Sabino family. We skated in Central Park, visited old friends, Rob played a gig with his old band, Chic, and went St. John the Divine cathedral.  





Thursday, January 5, 2012

Dear Mom


It has been almost a year since you died. Those last few months I spent with you were a blessing I will always treasure. I have slowly been going through your things and never knew what a pack rat you were. I hope you don't mind that I tossed out those little wooden spools of thread that had about 4 feet of thread left on each one. I kept a few packets of sewing needles, but didn't think I'd ever use 85 packets of them. Right now I am looking a bag you kept of maps. Roseville, San Francisco city guide, USA, Santa Cruz, Lake Tahoe, Florida, Sarasota, Michigan, Detroit, Lakeport, Placerville, Grass Valley , and ....India? I remember stories about many trips you took - the white sand in Sarasota, many trips to San Francisco and Michigan, but I never heard about India. Did you ever go there and I never knew about it? Did you want to go there? I'll never know. I think I will give these maps to a thrift store. I have kept them in a bag in my closet for 11 months now. These were records of your trips, your stories. Some will live on in me, but little by little I keep letting you go. Not that I love less or miss you less, it's just the reality that you are no longer here. I have a box with some of my own maps that I will hold on to - and I imagine that one of my children will be going through them one day tracing my journeys and wondering whether to hold on to them or give them away. I hope they will smile as they remember stories I've told them or trips we took together, and then let them go as I am yours.

I miss you.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Friday Five


One of the online communities I belong to asks questions for reflection on Friday's called the Friday Five. This week we were asked: As you look back over 2011 share 5 blessings, they can be as grand or as simple as you like,if you year has been like mine they are probably a mixture!

As you look towards 2012 share 5 hopes- again, anything goes!

Pictures and songs welcome!

Blessings:
1. My family, especially the birth of my newest grand daughter, Charlotte.
2. Amazing friends, both online and live.
3. A congregation that is vibrant and loving.
4. My self-defense instructor.
5. Mocha and Chloe- a huge labradoodle and tiny schnoodle.

Hopes for 2012:
1. To put my keys and purse in the same place every day.
2. To be responsible for the energy I bring into a room. I heard that on an interview with Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard brain scientist who suffered a stroke. During her recovery she was aware of people's energy in a very palpable way. There are some people who really do suck our energy and leave us feeling drained. I want to be aware of my energy and what I bring into a room as I enter it.
3. To stay away from people who have toxic energy as much as possible.
4. To find a new living situation for my 35 year old disabled son. I need to find a counselor who can help him deal with agoraphobia and begin to engage in life with the limitations he has.
5. To sleep at least 7 hours a night.





Advent Christmas and new life

It was a quieter Christmas than most. There were only a few around the dinner table. We normally have tables linked together that wind all throughout the house. This year we all sat at one table. I normally love the chaos and confusion and nieces and nephews and children running all over, but this year was nice in its own way. I needed a more quiet time.

I woke up feeling rested yesterday. It was the first time I woke up feeling that way in a long time. I haven't had a nightmare in 4 days. I am settling into a routine with prayer, exercise, sleep, errands, napping, cooking and did I mention sleeping and napping? I am also continuing with self-defense training and counseling. One of my Canadian friends just e-mailed me a portion of the psalms he read this morning from Psalm 144 which sounds like a motto for self-defense training; "Blessed is God, who traineth my hands to war and my fingers to fight."

I miss my congregation and work at the church, but know that this is still a time to unplug and re-set my body and soul.

Saturday, December 17, 2011


There is a story about an old Cherokee goes like this:

“One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that was going on inside him self. He said, "My son, it is between 2 wolves. One is evil:
anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment,
inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego... The other is good: joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith..." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one I feed."



On another note: I am reading, for the millioneth time, a book called Night Visions: Searching the Shadows of Advent and Christmas by Jan Richardson. It’s a beautiful book with her art work and reflections. The reflection for today is titled Working On It and is accompanied by a paper collage. You should all go out and get her book so you can see the art work too. The reflection is this:





And so let me let you hold me
when I have come to the place beyond the willingness to labor
beyond anything but the longing for rest.
Let my emptiness be emptiness till it reveals to me your face,
and let my weariness be weariness till it prompts me to your rest.
Then may I know the healing of slumber
and the possibility of dreams;
then may I greet the dawn and take up my work again.


Thursday, February 11, 2010

Families, friends and conflict



Today we remember the lives of Orthodox Saints. Today's example is sadly a story that is too ordinary; friends and family members involved in a dispute that leads to division and hardness of heart. My daughter called yesterday to say that one of her friends' brother was killed in an accident. The two siblings got in an argument four days ago and weren't speaking. When I heard that and then read this mornings story about St. Nicephoros I thought of something that a friend of mine, a Methodist pastor, recently sent the following to me. I include it here fyi. I found the photo on the website of the Daily Word - and I'm including it just because I like it! May you bring peace to others today- Rev Deb

Nicephoros
In third century Antioch, Syria, Nicephoros was a layman and Saprikios was a presbyter , and they were friends. However, once after a disagreement, they refused to speak to each other. With humility, Nicephoros later tried to accept the blame, but the Saprikios was unmoved.
Saprikios was later arrested during a persecution and sentenced to die. Nicephoros waited along the path to the execution and begged for Saprikios' forgiveness, but Saprikios' heart was hardened. Finally Nicephoros told the executioner that he would take the Saprikios' place, and Nicephoros was beheaded.

Peacemaking is not avoiding conflict or running from problems…that is cowardice. Peacemaking is courageous. Also, Peacemaking is not appeasement or simply letting the other person have their
way…that is passivity. Peacemaking is active. Jesus was never a doormat. Jesus stood his ground and made things happen.
Second, some truths about unresolved conflict. Unresolved conflict blocks your fellowship with God. I John 4:20 "For anyone
who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." I Peter 3:7 "Husbands …be considerate with your wives and treat them with respect…so
that nothing will hinder your prayers." ...Check out your relationships. Unresolved conflict hinders your happiness. Job 18:4 "You tear yourself to pieces in your anger." Resentment is consuming…it
monopolizes your attention, thoughts, and feelings. We all need to learn to be at peace…then learn how to become makers of peace.
PLAN a Peace conference. P.E.A.C.E. Matthew 5:24 "If you remember your brother has something against you go at once to make peace."
YOU take the initiative…”you go”. Don't wait for them to make the first move. It doesn't matter if you're the offended or the offender;
it is always your move. Why? Because Jesus said so. And because you are more mature. Schedule a face to face. (not via e-mail!) Conflict is not
resolved accidentally. You must intentionally deal with it. When? "...at once ..." Don't avoid or delay, it only grows worse.
EMPATHIZE with their feelings. * Philippians 2:4 "None of you should think only of his own affairs, but consider other people's interests also."
Pay attention to their needs. When you're upset, who are you thinking about? Yourself, your needs, your hurts. God says reverse
that. When you hold your peace conference, step into their shoes and think about them for a moment. What you are thinking and feeling is important, but you need to empathize with them as well.
Parents of children, adult children of parents, spouses, friends - all know they have to listen, be sensitive, and empathize with what
going on with the other person. One of the values of conflict is when you solve it, it usually leads to greater closeness because you understand them better. You've been listening and caring.
ATTACK the problem not the person. * Ephesians 4:29 "Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed." Don't go criticizing, condemning, and comparing. Say things that build people up, not put them down. You can't focus on fixing the problem and fixing the blame at the same time. It's impossible. If you meet planning to blame the other person, then forget it. Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer quiets anger but a harsh one stirs it up." Engage your mind before you engage your mouth. Be sincere, not sarcastic. You don't get the point across by being cross. Attack the problem not the person.
COOPERATE as much as possible. * Romans 12:18 "Do everything possible on your part, to live at peace with all men."
The hallmark of a Christian ought to be our ability to get along with other people. However, for all of us, some people are a
challenge. “Do everything possible.” Peace has a price…always. It costs your self-centeredness. “We” is the goal, not “me”.
Maybe they are right…or a legitimate gripe…or maybe they do know what they're talking about. Learn to say: "I was wrong" and "I'm
sorry".

James 3:17 says "Peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness." Whatever you sow is what
you're going to reap. If you want people to cooperate with you, you have to cooperate. If you want people to be nice to you, you've
got to be nice to them. Whatever you're dishing out is what you're getting back. So you look and say, "What can I do? What seeds
am I planting?" If you are always planting seeds of griping, complaining, arguing, hassling, and putting down others guess what
you're going to reap. Start planting seeds of peace and cooperation.
EMPHASIZE reconciliation not resolution. * 2 Corinthians 5:18 "God has reconciled us to Himself through Christ and given us the ministry of reconciliation."
Jesus models what God wants us to do. A synonym for peacemaker is reconciler -- one who brings people together. God sent
Jesus Christ to bring us to Him so we could have peace with God. God is the original peacemaker…Jesus is the Prince of Peace.
What Jesus has modeled God now wants us to do with other people. “Reconcile” means “to reestablish a relationship.” It does not
mean you resolve all the problems. A lot of times there are some legitimate, honest differences. Reconciliation means you bury the
hatchet, not the issue. You can disagree, agreeably. You can walk arm in arm without seeing eye to eye. Reconciliation focuses on
the relationship. When you help restore relationships you're doing what God would do. When God looks down on you and you are
taking the initiative to restore harmony in that marriage or in that office or with that parent or child - God looks down on you and says,
"That's my girl!" or "That's my boy!" That person is a child of God.
Who can be a peacemaker? Anybody. But first you must have peace on the inside of you. You can't spread peace if you're at war
on the inside. Only what you have can you offer to others.
A poem from the Panhala website
Why Regret?






Didn't you like the way the ants help
the peony globes open by eating the glue off?
Weren't you cheered to see the ironworkers
sitting on an I-beam dangling from a cable,
in a row, like starlings, eating lunch, maybe
baloney on white with fluorescent mustard?
Wasn't it a revelation to waggle
from the estuary all the way up the river,
the kill, the pirle, the run, the rent, the beck,
the sike barely trickling, to the shock of a spring?
Didn't you almost shiver, hearing book lice
clicking their sexual dissonance inside an old
Webster's New International, perhaps having just
eaten of it izle, xyster, and thalassacon?
Forget about becoming emaciated. Think of the wren
and how little flesh is needed to make a song.
Didn't it seem somehow familiar when the nymph
split open and the mayfly struggled free
and flew and perched and then its own back
broke open and the imago, the true adult,
somersaulted out and took flight, seeking
the swarm, mouth-parts vestigial,
alimentary canal come to a stop,
a day or hour left to find the desired one?
Or when Casanova took up the platter
of linguine in squid's ink and slid the stuff
out the window, telling his startled companion,
"The perfected lover does not eat."
Didn't you glimpse in the monarchs
what seemed your own inner blazonry
flapping and gliding, in desire, in the middle air?
Weren't you reassured to think these flimsy
hinged beings, and then their offspring,
and then their offspring's offspring, could
navigate, working in shifts, all the way to Mexico,
to the exact plot, perhaps the very tree,
by tracing the flair of the bodies of ancestors
who fell in this same migration a year ago?
Doesn't it outdo the pleasure of the brilliant concert
to wake in the night and find ourselves
holding hands in our sleep?
~ Galway Kinnell ~
(Strong Is Your Hold)

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

gossip



The story about gossip that I used in my sermon on Sunday came from the movie Doubt. When I did some research on the story I discovered that John Patrick Shanley, the writer/director of the movie heard the story preached in a sermon when he was a boy attending St. Anthony's in the  Bronx. He said:  “Gossip and cutting the pillow was a sermon I had heard. The Cure of Ars (St. John Vianney) used that sermon in the Middle Ages. And before that it’s Jewish in origin.  The story told in the sermon has a priest reproaching a woman for gossiping by telling her to cut open a pillow on the roof of her apartment building and shake out the feathers. When the woman tells the priest she’s done so, he then tells her to pick up each feather — a near-impossibility, like stopping the spread of gossip once started. “To me as a kid, gossip meant nothing,” Shanley added. “It was (imagining) the pillow and the feathers and all that.”

I thought about cutting a pillow during my sermon to add a visual effect, but thought I better try it at home first. Robert and Maria had a great time throwing feathers around the yard. I decided not to use the feathers in church though. They got everywhere, in everything and spread all across the neighborhood. Since I am of the belief that if I make a mess then I clean it up and I didn't want to clean up a million down feathers from the red carpet. 

I chose the New Testament reading, instead of the one from the Old Testament, from the Daily Office. I like the phrase "today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts." The poem comes from Linda Hogan (which I get from Panhala.net) 

So, today if you hear the voice of God, harden not your hearts. 



Hebrews 3:1-11 (NRSV)
Therefore, brothers and sisters, holy partners in a heavenly calling, consider that Jesus, the apostle and high priest of our confession, was faithful to the one who appointed him, just as Moses also “was faithful in all God’s house.” Yet Jesus is worthy of more glory than Moses, just as the builder of a house has more honor than the house itself. (For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God.) Now Moses was faithful in all God’s house as a servant, to testify to the things that would be spoken later. Christ, however, was faithful over God’s house as a son, and we are his house if we hold firm the confidence and the pride that belong to hope.
Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, as on the day of testing in the wilderness, where your ancestors put me to the test, though they had seen my works for forty years. Therefore I was angry with that generation, and I said, ‘They always go astray in their hearts, and they have not known my ways.’ As in my anger I swore, ‘They will not enter my rest.’”


The Radiant
 
In night,
at the dark limits of earth
where land ends and water begins,
at the elemental border
where you can go no further
without one entering the other,
the green light goes on.
It's not the man who fishes here,
not the light of human making
because we are the ones who measure light
and because light was created before us
from blood of flesh and sea
like this animal light of the manta ray
traveling the latitudes of night
and longitudes of darkness
knowing the blue unfathomable shifts
and dark ranges of the world beneath water.
 
It travels a rich sea away from us,
its light falling on plankton,
bringing food and fish toward it,
as if it is moonlight
opening across water,
it passes over the fished-out places
beyond the reef where coral is dying,
out past the point where the British captain was killed
by those who first thought he was a shining god.
 
It moves steadily out into darkness
to where the colder darkness begins to well up
from the sea depths that have no bottom,
the place where I have feared the pale face of a shark
with its deadly touch
against my naked legs.
 
The ray travels over the many
other lives that have light
and below them is the blindness
of fish who need no sight,
and out toward the place where sun left the sky,
to where the larger creatures live,
where fishermen once found their boat cast in shadow
and looking up, saw what kind of cloud it was,
the manta ray risen out of water, a leap
so large it darkened the sky.
The men returned haunted by
everything that was larger than they were,
more beautiful and bearing its own light.
 
Tonight on this dark shore,
watching the animal light go over the horizon,
I long to be in water heading for open sea,
for no other power,
no other light.
 
~ Linda Hogan ~
 
(Rounding the Human Corners)
 
 
 
 
 






Monday, March 2, 2009

morning thoughs


i've been using a great blog site to get the readings from the Daily Office (dailyoffice.wordpress.com) each day and will include one of the readings here, along with a poem from another site (Panhala)

The Daily Office website had the following caption and photo on its page. Lent is a good time to ask ourselves what are the idols in our lives. They could be material or they could even be things like the prayer book or hymnal. We need to distinguish what we use as tools to help our experience of God from God. peace, Rev Deb

"Interior of Anglican church on Gangwha Island, South Korea—so that we don’t make an idol of our own familiar architecture and furnishings."
The poem is called The Apple Orchard. 
The Apple Orchard
 
Come let us watch the sun go down
and walk in twilight through the orchard's green.
Does it not seem as if we had for long
collected, saved and harbored within us
old memories? To find releases and seek
new hopes, remembering half-forgotten joys,
mingled with darkness coming from within,
as we randomly voice our thoughts aloud
wandering beneath these harvest-laden trees
reminiscent of Durer woodcuts, branches
which, bent under the fully ripened fruit,
wait patiently, trying to outlast, to
serve another season's hundred days of toil,
straining, uncomplaining, by not breaking
but succeeding, even though the burden
should at times seem almost past endurance.
Not to falter! Not to be found wanting!
 
Thus must it be, when willingly you strive
throughout a long and uncomplaining life,
committed to one goal: to give yourself!
And silently to grow and to bear fruit.
 
 
 
~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~
 
 
(Rainer Maria Rilke: Selected Poems, trans. by Albert Ernest Flemming)



Friday, December 19, 2008

hard times

Dear ones,

Good morning everyone. I have chosen the canticle from Morning Prayer for today's selection. It has a verse that kept me going during a time that was quite difficult (quite difficult... that's my polite English side keeping my wilder Irish side from using other adjectives).  It seems like a story I read about rather than one I lived. When I was 21 years old, an undergrad in Michigan,  I was the victim of an attempted rape and murder. I escaped, but was badly badly beaten. The perp, although known (he was my Abnormal Psychology professor, Dr. Henry Orloff) was never put behind bars. I used to meditate on the verse from today's scripture "Violence will no more be heard in your land, ruin or destruction within your borders." Meditating on that verse helped me turn the corner (eventually)   from continuing to live in fear to tip toeing  into life again.   God is present, even in violence. God is present, even when destruction comes. God is present, always, to carry us through those times. Peace.  



Canticle 11 The Third Song of Isaiah 
Surge, illuminare Isaiah 60:1-3, 11a, 14c, 18-19


Arise, shine, for your light has come, *
and the glory of the Lord has dawned upon you.

For behold, darkness covers the land; *
deep gloom enshrouds the peoples.


But over you the Lord will rise, *
and his glory will appear upon you.


Nations will stream to your light, *
and kings to the brightness of your dawning.


Your gates will always be open; *
by day or night they will never be shut.


They will call you, The City of the Lord, *
The Zion of the Holy One of Israel.


Violence will no more be heard in your land, *
ruin or destruction within your borders.


You will call your walls, Salvation, *
and all your portals, Praise.


The sun will no more be your light by day; *
by night you will not need the brightness of the moon.


The Lord will be your everlasting light, *
and your God will be your glory.
 




Saturday, November 29, 2008

Move over Martha Stewart



The turkey at my sister's house - nice shot, huh?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Saturday, November 22, 2008

blessings passed down




Dear ones,

We survived the Treasure Hunt that we did for the twins birthday. My thoughts turn to another time when 11 years ago I was holding two new babies in my arms. I recall that wonderful newborn smell and the softness of their skin as if it just happened. There was an older woman at my church who was a twin and had been looking forward to the birth of my twins, but she had been battling cancer and was near death. It seemed like the only thing keeping her alive was meeting Robert and Maria (we called them Click and Clack then - we didn't know that we had a boy and girl until they were born). Her doctor kept calling me and asking when I was going to go into labor. He said that this woman, Zelda, was ready to die but refused to do so until she met my babies! Finally they came - and when we left the hospital our first stop, even before we went home, was to visit Zelda. Her twin sister came down from Reno for the occasion. They were 95 years old. In preparation to greet these new twins Zelda got out of bed and put on makeup so she could  look her best, and I have to say, she looked stunning. She shone with joy that day. I will never forget the image I have of Zelda and her sister holding these babies who had just come into the world. When Zelda held each one, she leaned over and whispered into their ears. She told me that she had to wait for their birth because  they needed to have the blessing of elder twins to welcome them into this world. I don't know what she whispered but I know that she passed on to them a powerful blessing for their lives.

Enjoy the readings. Take time to reflect on the questions that the poem asks. Peace. Debra+


Malachi. 3:13-4:6 (NRSV)

13 You have spoken harsh words against me, says the LORD. Yet you say, "How have we spoken against you?" You have said, "It is vain to serve God. What do we profit by keeping his command or by going about as mourners before the LORD of hosts? Now we count the arrogant happy; evildoers not only prosper, but when they put God to the test they escape." 16Then those who revered the LORD spoke with one another. The LORD took note and listened, and a book of remembrance was written before him of those who revered the
LORD and thought on his name. 17They shall be mine, says the LORD of hosts, my special possession on the day when I act, and I will spare them as parents spare their children who serve them. 18Then once more you shall see the difference between the righteous and the wicked, between one who serves God and one who does not serve him.

See, the day is coming, burning like an oven, when all the arrogant and all evildoers will be stubble; the day that comes shall burn them up, says the LORD of hosts, so that it will leave them neither root nor branch. But for you who revere my name the sun of righteousness shall rise, with healing in its wings. You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall. 3And you shall tread down the wicked, for they will be ashes under the soles of your feet, on the day when I act, says the LORD of hosts. Remember the teaching of my servant Moses, the statutes and ordinances that I commanded him at Horeb for all Israel. 5Lo, I will send you the prophet Elijah before the great and terrible day of the LORD comes. 6He will turn the hearts of parents to their children and the hearts of children to their parents, so that I will not come and strike the land with a curse. "



What's In The Temple?
 
In the quiet spaces of my mind a thought lies still, but ready to spring. 
It begs me to open the door so it can walk about. 
The poets speak in obscure terms pointing madly at the unsayable. 
The sages say nothing, but walk ahead patting their thigh calling for us to follow. 
The monk sits pen in hand poised to explain the cloud of unknowing. 
The seeker seeks, just around the corner from the truth. 
If she stands still it will catch up with her. 
Pause with us here a while. 
Put your ear to the wall of your heart. 
Listen for the whisper of knowing there. 
Love will touch you if you are very still.
 
If I say the word God, people run away. 
They've been frightened--sat on 'till the spirit cried "uncle." 
Now they play hide and seek with somebody they can't name. 
They know he's out there looking for them, and they want to be found, 
But there is all this stuff in the way.
 
I can't talk about God and make any sense, 
And I can't not talk about God and make any sense. 
So we talk about the weather, and we are talking about God.
 
I miss the old temples where you could hang out with God. 
Still, we have pet pounds where you can feel love draped in warm fur, 
And sense the whole tragedy of life and death. 
You see there the consequences of carelessness, 
And you feel there the yapping urgency of life that wants to be lived. 
The only things lacking are the frankincense and myrrh.
 
We don't build many temples anymore. 
Maybe we learned that the sacred can't be contained. 
Or maybe it can't be sustained inside a building. 
Buildings crumble. 
It's the spirit that lives on.
 
If you had a temple in the secret spaces of your heart, 
What would you worship there? 
What would you bring to sacrifice? 
What would be behind the curtain in the holy of holies?
 
Go there now.
 
~ Tom Barrett ~
 
 
(Keeping in Touch)