Life, Love, Wonder, Joy, Awe, Connectedness

"You are anointed with this oil and sealed as Christ's own forever,"
 I said as I made the sign of the cross on her forehead with the oil for baptism...


she asked, "will you put some on my toes too?"


All you need to know about how to live can be found in a prayer in the Book of Common Prayer that is used when we baptize: - I adapted it a bit..


'Gracious and loving God, we thank you for life itself. 
Sustain me, O Lord, in your Holy Spirit. Give me
an inquiring and discerning heart, 
the courage to will and to persevere, 
a spirit to know and to love you, 
and the gift of joy and wonder in all your works.'


Inquiring - so we never lose our curiosity and desire to engage and learn.

Discerning- I could have used this a bit more when I was 17 & decided to hitch hike across the country by myself.  Bad idea. 
Very Bad. 

Courage to will & persevere- Some days it takes a lot of courage to just keep on going. I recently read a book that my 16 year old daughter brought home from school called Thirteen Reasons Why. It was written from the perspective of a girl who committed suicide and sent audio tapes to the people who contributed to her decision to take her life. I felt compelled to write a response called Thirteen Reasons Why Not - from the perspective of teen who attempted suicide a couple of times. She wrote letters to people who helped her stay the course, hang in there for just another day, another hour until she reclaimed the spark of life that was meant for her all along. 

A spirit to know and love God - we need to know it's not all about us, there is more, so much more....

The gift of joy and wonder - so that we never ever ever lose the capacity to stand in utter awe whether we are gazing at a new baby, a full moon, a small flower or a admiring the beauty of a horse running free, or.... add your own.

Faith and religion

I'm reading Daring Greatly by Brenee Brown. I have underlined notes on almost every page. A quote from her book that I read today is:

"When religious leaders leverage our fear and need for more certainty by extracting vulnerability from spirituality and turning faith into 'compliance and consequences,' rather than teaching and modeling how to wrestle with the unknown and how to embrace mystery the entire concept of faith is bankrupt on its own terms. Faith minus  vulnerability equals politics, or worse extremism. Spiritual connection and engagement is not built on compliance, it's the product of love, belonging, and vulnerability."

Amen to that!!

The photo was taken on Pentecost Sunday at Episcopal Cathedral in Topeka.

New Years Eve 2013

My favorite things - 2013

A poem posted in the RevGal blog site this morning (by revkarla):

In this morning

on the evening of the last night

of this calendar year

I pray…

to savor the day, I mean, really live it.

I will reflect upon the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad, the poignant and the glorious

of the past twelve months….

and give God thanksgiving and praise for this gift of my life, the fulness thereof, 

And then I pray to move on,

and move into whatever is next

with courage, spirit, adventure and love…

for the moments we really have

are the ones we are living now. 

Amen. 

2013 was filled with so many blessings.  Three (former) members of Grace church were all ordained to the transitional diaconate on June 29th at Trinity Cathedral. On June 30th they were all at Grace church as ordained clergy.  Each one had a unique path to ordination with a variety of challenges along the way. Each felt a strong call to the priesthood fueled by a tug deep in their soul. Each one is amazing and talented and thoughtful and brilliant.

We went to New York in February and were able to have a rare family gathering with the Sabino family. We skated in Central Park, visited old friends, Rob played a gig with his old band, Chic, and went St. John the Divine cathedral.  

Dear Mom

It has been almost a year since you died. Those last few months I spent with you were a blessing I will always treasure. I have slowly been going through your things and never knew what a pack rat you were. I hope you don't mind that I tossed out those little wooden spools of thread that had about 4 feet of thread left on each one. I kept a few packets of sewing needles, but didn't think I'd ever use 85 packets of them. Right now I am looking a bag you kept of maps. Roseville, San Francisco city guide, USA, Santa Cruz, Lake Tahoe, Florida, Sarasota, Michigan, Detroit, Lakeport, Placerville, Grass Valley , and ....India? I remember stories about many trips you took - the white sand in Sarasota, many trips to San Francisco and Michigan, but I never heard about India. Did you ever go there and I never knew about it? Did you want to go there? I'll never know. I think I will give these maps to a thrift store. I have kept them in a bag in my closet for 11 months now. These were records of your trips, your stories. Some will live on in me, but little by little I keep letting you go. Not that I love less or miss you less, it's just the reality that you are no longer here. I have a box with some of my own maps that I will hold on to - and I imagine that one of my children will be going through them one day tracing my journeys and wondering whether to hold on to them or give them away. I hope they will smile as they remember stories I've told them or trips we took together, and then let them go as I am yours.

I miss you.

Friday Five

One of the online communities I belong to asks questions for reflection on Friday's called the Friday Five. This week we were asked: As you look back over 2011 share 5 blessings, they can be as grand or as simple as you like,if you year has been like mine they are probably a mixture!

As you look towards 2012 share 5 hopes- again, anything goes!

Pictures and songs welcome!

Blessings:

1. My family, especially the birth of my newest grand daughter, Charlotte.

2. Amazing friends, both online and live.

3. A congregation that is vibrant and loving.

4. My self-defense instructor.

5. Mocha and Chloe- a huge labradoodle and tiny schnoodle.

Hopes for 2012:

1. To put my keys and purse in the same place every day.

2. To be responsible for the energy I bring into a room. I heard that on an interview with Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard brain scientist who suffered a stroke. During her recovery she was aware of people's energy in a very palpable way. There are some people who really do suck our energy and leave us feeling drained. I want to be aware of my energy and what I bring into a room as I enter it.

3. To stay away from people who have toxic energy as much as possible.

4. To find a new living situation for my 35 year old disabled son. I need to find a counselor who can help him deal with agoraphobia and begin to engage in life with the limitations he has.

5. To sleep at least 7 hours a night.

Advent Christmas and new life

It was a quieter Christmas than most. There were only a few around the dinner table. We normally have tables linked together that wind all throughout the house. This year we all sat at one table. I normally love the chaos and confusion and nieces and nephews and children running all over, but this year was nice in its own way. I needed a more quiet time.

I woke up feeling rested yesterday. It was the first time I woke up feeling that way in a long time. I haven't had a nightmare in 4 days. I am settling into a routine with prayer, exercise, sleep, errands, napping, cooking and did I mention sleeping and napping? I am also continuing with self-defense training and counseling. One of my Canadian friends just e-mailed me a portion of the psalms he read this morning from Psalm 144 which sounds like a motto for self-defense training; "Blessed is God, who traineth my hands to war and my fingers to fight."

I miss my congregation and work at the church, but know that this is still a time to unplug and re-set my body and soul.

There is a story about an old Cherokee goes like this:

“One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that was going on inside him self. He said, "My son, it is between 2 wolves. One is evil:

anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment,

inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego... The other is good: joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith..." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,

"Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one I feed."

On another note: I am reading, for the millioneth time, a book called Night Visions: Searching the Shadows of Advent and Christmas by Jan Richardson. It’s a beautiful book with her art work and reflections. The reflection for today is titled Working On It and is accompanied by a paper collage. You should all go out and get her book so you can see the art work too. The reflection is this:

And so let me let you hold me

when I have come to the place beyond the willingness to labor

beyond anything but the longing for rest.

Let my emptiness be emptiness till it reveals to me your face,

and let my weariness be weariness till it prompts me to your rest.

Then may I know the healing of slumber

and the possibility of dreams;

then may I greet the dawn and take up my work again.